Did I Work My Way Out of Motherhood? Imposter Syndrome, Success, and the ‘Right Time’ to Have a Baby
I did everything right. I climbed the ladder, shattered glass ceilings, and built a career that many dream of. I chased promotions, led teams, and became the kind of high-functioning professional who always had an answer, a plan, a next step. And yet, here I am, wondering: Did I work my way out of motherhood? Did I spend my best baby-making years proving myself in a boardroom instead of preparing myself for a nursery?
It’s the question that haunts many high-achieving women. The ones who planned, strategized, and succeeded—only to wake up one day and realize they may have put one dream on hold for another. And in doing so, they face a different kind of imposter syndrome, one that whispers: You missed your chance.
The Feminist Dilemma: Have We Been Sold a Lie?
Feminism taught us that we could have it all. And we believed it. But what if the unspoken truth is that "having it all" was always a trap? A delicate balancing act where something—whether career, relationships, or motherhood—inevitably tips the scale?
We were encouraged to chase degrees, careers, and financial independence before settling down. But the unspoken caveat was that biology doesn’t always wait for readiness. For many high-functioning women, this realization comes late, often accompanied by guilt, regret, or the painful acknowledgment that maybe they were playing a game with rules they didn’t write.
Imposter Syndrome and Motherhood: The Unspoken Fear
We talk about imposter syndrome in the workplace—feeling like we don’t belong in the rooms we’ve fought to be in. But what about imposter syndrome in motherhood? The quiet fear that after years of excelling in structured environments, we won’t be able to handle the unpredictable, messy, self-sacrificing world of parenting?
For the high-achieving woman, motherhood isn’t just a biological decision; it’s an identity shift. And for many, that shift feels terrifying.
Take the "Am I Ready for Motherhood?" Quiz
Not sure where you stand? Answer these questions to explore your thoughts on motherhood readiness:
Do you feel like you’d have to give up a core part of your identity to become a mother?
Does the idea of motherhood excite or overwhelm you more?
Have you ever felt pressured to choose between career and family?
Do you think you’d be less successful or fulfilled as a mother?
What scares you most about becoming a parent?
(Score breakdown: Mostly yes? You might be facing imposter syndrome around motherhood. Mostly no? You may be more ready than you think!)
Are We Ever Ready?
The truth is, we weren’t exactly "ready" for our careers either. We applied for jobs we weren’t fully qualified for, took on challenges we weren’t sure we could handle, and adapted along the way. So why does motherhood feel like the one role we have to be fully prepared for before we begin?
Maybe the real question isn’t Am I ready? but What am I afraid of losing? Because the answer to that question reveals the real struggle behind the choice. It’s not just about timing—it’s about identity, power, and control.
Conclusion: The Next Step is Yours
There’s no right answer—no universal timeline that guarantees happiness. But if you’re a high-functioning professional questioning whether you worked your way out of motherhood, know this: You are not alone. And whatever choice you make next, it doesn’t define your worth—it simply shapes your path.
Start the Conversation
Have you struggled with the tension between career success and motherhood? Let’s start the conversation. Drop a comment, share your experience, or book a session to explore what readiness means for you.
