“I Don’t Like My Therapist Anymore” – When Therapy Gets Uncomfortable
Grab a drink, get cozy—this blog is about to get real.
As a therapist, working with high-functioning professionals, I often sit across from individuals who know what they want. My role is to offer an outside perspective grounded in support, understanding, and gentle challenge. Most of the time, what unfolds is a collaborative exchange: individuals share their experiences while we work together helping them recognize patterns, shift mindsets, and move toward the future they want.
But therapy isn’t always smooth sailing. With change comes uncertainty—and vulnerability. And when something I say lands in an unexpected or uncomfortable way, the response isn’t always, “Thank you, that was helpful.”
Sometimes it’s more like, “I don’t like that. I don’t like you.”
When Therapy Hits a Nerve
Therapy can stir up discomfort—not because something is wrong, but because something important is surfacing. It’s not unusual for clients to feel ambivalent after a therapy session, especially when a nerve is poked or unpacking something you aren’t quite ready to name.
That discomfort might show up as:
Feeling irritated or misunderstood.
Replaying something your therapist said that didn’t sit right.
Questioning the entire process: Is this even working?
These are real, valid responses. And part of the work.
The truth is that therapy isn’t just about feeling supported, it’s also about being stretched. Encouragement and insight can feel hard to receive when they challenge our well-worn narratives or bring up old wounds. But that’s often where the growth happens.
You're Not Alone if You've Thought, “I Don’t Like My Therapist Right Now”
I’ve been on both sides of the couch—giving and receiving therapy. I've had sessions that were great and ones that made me want to avoid my therapist for weeks.
But here's what I know for sure: discomfort doesn't mean it's not working. It often means something inside you is shifting.
If you're someone who's used to leading, fixing, performing, or managing it all, being challenged in therapy can feel disorienting. The instinct to pull away is normal. But before you walk out—or ghost your therapist—it might be worth leaning in.
Between Sessions: When Reflection Kicks In
It’s common to revisit something from a session a few days later—on a walk, in a heated moment with a partner, or during a quiet Sunday morning coffee. That flash of reflection, the inner tug that brings a phrase or challenge back to mind, is often where the real integration begins.
This is the reflective work between sessions, the less visible, more private side of growth. Sometimes clients tell me, “I didn’t like what you said at first. But it stayed with me.” That lingering discomfort becomes curiosity, and then insight.
✨ Client Story: The Struggle to Receive
I once worked with a client—we’ll call her Simone—who came to therapy saying, “I just want to feel like I’m not constantly scrambling.” Stability was her north star. She longed for a steady income, fewer fires to put out, and peace in her home/family life. Over time, we tracked her progress: her career was on an upward trajectory, her schedule reflected balance, and she was making thoughtful decisions aligned with her values.
But something unexpected happened: the more her outer world calmed, the more unsettled she felt inside.
One day I gently named what I was observing. “It sounds like you’ve gotten the very thing you used to crave—and now that it’s here, you can’t seem to trust it.” She went quiet. In the silence, I saw that flicker of resistance. She eventually admitted that it was hard to slow down. Harder still, to give herself permission to feel proud of what she’d built.
Simone experienced a common situation where the pursuit of goals can overshadow the recognition of achievements. Her nervous system had been wired for the pursuit. She didn’t realize that receiving stability requires a different skill set—one rooted in, acceptance and worthiness.
It took time, but she got there. Through reflective work between sessions—moments when my words circled back into her awareness while she was grocery shopping or folding laundry—she began to ask herself, “What if this is enough?”
Let This Take Root🌱
If something from a past session is circling back into your thoughts, let that be an invitation. If a piece of feedback felt hard to hear, you don’t have to reject it outright. You also don’t have to agree immediately.
You can sit with it. Revisit it. Try it on like a jacket you’re not sure fits.
Therapy isn’t about getting it right in real time. It’s about building the capacity to explore your resistance.
Why I (Gently) Push
Therapy isn’t just about agreement; it's about helping you align with your true desires—even when the journey feels challenging.
If you're coming to therapy to build more fulfilling relationships, better boundaries, or a stronger sense of self, that work can’t happen without occasional discomfort. Unlearning people-pleasing tendencies, challenging perfectionism, or naming long-held hurts doesn’t come with instant relief. It comes with courage, grit, and sometimes, frustration.
So no, I’m not here to make you uncomfortable for discomfort’s sake. I’m not a sadist! I am here to help you grow, even if that growth feels awkward before it feels aligned.
The Cycle of Resistance in Therapy
If you’ve ever had a moment in therapy where you wanted to shut down, walk out, or fire your therapist, you’re not alone.
These reactions are a normal part of the process. Here’s what often happens:
🔥 The Revelation – A tough insight lands. A behavior, mindset, or belief is called into question.
⚡ The Resistance – The mind rejects it: That’s not true. That doesn’t apply to me. My therapist doesn’t get it.
💨 The Retreat – Avoidance kicks in. Maybe you stop engaging, cancel sessions, or decide therapy “isn’t working.”
💡 The Reflection – With time (and a little courage), the insight lingers. You start to see it play out in real life.
🌱 The Growth – You come back, ready to explore, shift, and heal.
This is not an easy process. But the moment of resistance; That’s where the real work begins.
“If you liked everything your therapist said, you probably wouldn’t be growing.”
What to Do When Therapy Feels Uncomfortable
If you’ve ever felt like rejecting what your therapist says, here’s what I encourage:
🔹 Pause Before Reacting – Ask yourself: Why does this feel uncomfortable? Is it because it’s untrue… or because it’s challenging?
🔹 Name the Resistance – Instead of shutting down, bring it into the session: “That was really hard for me to hear.” This opens the door to deeper work.
🔹 Trust the Process – Growth isn’t linear. Sometimes the things we resist the most are the ones we need to face.
🔹 Remember: Therapy Isn’t About Comfort—It’s About Change – If you liked everything your therapist said, you probably wouldn’t be growing.
When It’s Time to Find a New Therapist
Of course, not every moment of discomfort in therapy means you should stick with it. If you consistently feel misunderstood, unheard, or misaligned with your therapist’s approach, it might be time to explore other options. Therapy is a relationship, and like all relationships, it requires trust and compatibility.
But if the discomfort comes from challenging truths rather than an actual misalignment, that may be exactly where the work needs to take place.
For Clients Already in Therapy: Let’s Keep the Conversation Going
If you’re already in therapy and something we discussed recently has been lingering in your thoughts, you’re not alone. Often, a moment from session—maybe something that didn’t quite land right away—resurfaces between appointments, inviting deeper reflection. That in-between space is part of the process too.
Sometimes, the most important insights come after the session ends. And while it can feel uncomfortable at times, it’s often a sign that something meaningful is unfolding.
If you've been sitting with something or feeling unsure about what comes next, consider bringing it into our next session. Therapy is a space where even the unsettled parts are welcome.
When you’re ready, I’m here.
Final Thoughts: Lean Into the Discomfort
The most powerful transformations happen on the other side of resistance. Therapy isn’t always about feeling good—it’s about getting real, stepping into growth, and creating a future that aligns with who you truly want to be.
So, if you’ve ever thought, “I don’t like my therapist anymore,” ask yourself:
"Why am I reacting strongly to these messages or feelings, and what is their source?"
And if you’re ready to lean into the discomfort and do the work, I’m here to help.
📣 Ready to Rebook or Begin Again?
If something from this post lingered with you, that’s a signal.
Whether you’re reflecting on a past session or considering therapy for the first time, I’d love to support your next step.
👉 Book a session now or reach out with your questions.
